Lately, I’ve been overwrought with stress, doubt, and anxiety—all of which has exacerbated my imposter syndrome and endangered my self-concept. After my first year in grad school—one of the most toxic times in my life—I’ve attempted to honor boundaries I created to protect my sense of self-worth from outside negativity. And despite the progress I’ve made to better myself emotionally, I still feel inadequate and shameful every week. Recently, I came across a fascinating YouTube video about a word that encapsulates my feelings: for a long time, I’ve been *languishing*. Psychologist Adam Grant explains: “Two decades of research show that languishing can disrupt your focus and dampen your motivation. It's also a risk factor for depression because languishing often lurks below the surface. You might not notice when your drive is dwindling, or your delight is dulling. You’re indifferent to your own indifference, which means you don't seek help and you might not even do anything to help yourself." In several instances in grad school, I’ve been told in some form or another that life is not meant to be happy, that languishing, however toxic it can be, is “normal” and expected, especially for creatives such as myself. Although life itself can be toxic, I refuse to normalize languishing as “just” a given in a creative’s life and dismiss happiness as something that “must” be seen as something trivial or transitory. I see happiness in a different way, in a way that will help me overcome my languishing and maximize my capacity to be even more enlightened, beneficent, and peaceful. My view of happiness derives from the philosopher Aristotle, who defined happiness not as “pleasure,” though it can be seen as that; instead, he equated happiness to human flourishing. Hence, sustainable happiness—the most important kind of joy—is not a moment of pleasure, but a process of continual human growth. To flourish even more, I must focus my energy in the present moment while neither ignoring the bad around me nor letting the bad convince me I’m unteachable, unlovable, or unremarkable. Psychologist Nancy Etcoff asserts: "When you think about it, people are happiest when in Flow, when they're absorbed in something out in the world, when they're with other people, when they're active, engaged in sports, focusing on a loved one, learning, having sex, whatever. They're not sitting in front of the mirror trying to figure themselves out, or thinking about themselves. These are not the periods when you feel happiest." More than ever before, we all need to embrace positivity. Each day is a new life. My life and yours matter because you and I say so. We must continue to review the facts, analyze them, and make the best choices we can to flourish, knowing the people who care about us the most—not just friendly acquaintances or allies—want us to succeed more and cherish ourselves better. Each day is a new life.
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