goal of this postMy mother introduced me to the wisdom of Dale Carnegie several years ago, and I have cherished his insights ever since. Carnegie wrote several self-help books in the early-twentieth century. His most illustrious book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, is replete with informative anecdotes and one-liners meant to teach readers how to become better conversationalists and better critical, reflective thinkers. Even though I could quote dozens of inspirational lines from How To Win, I would like to spend some time exploring three quotations from his beloved text, ultimately demonstrating how Carnegie's sage advice has helped me become a more confident individual and, consequently, how his advice can help aspiring or current teachers grow in the same way. #1 The Futility of Criticism"Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment." ~ Dale Carnegie This quotation reminds me of the second teaching commandment I mentioned in a previous blog post. The commandment explains: "In all your interactions with students, they should never be encouraged to walk away feeling less about themselves. They may learn about behaviors they need to correct, greater efforts they must make, but never should their 'person' be injured by your words or actions. Leave no stone unturned, no child untouched." I have never benefited from being criticized. If anything, criticisms against me have left me feeling perplexed and at worse worthless. In college, whenever someone criticized my writing, I had to remind myself to take the other person's opinions with a grain of salt lest I become preoccupied with my self-image, worrying too much about my (potential) flaws. That is, I realized that a dish of criticism is best eaten with a grain of salt. Carnegie has taught me--or better yet, reminded me--that I should avoid criticizing others because I do not want others to criticize me. This does not mean that no one should ever complain or criticize. Instead, we must continue to behave tactfully and sympathetically if we wish to create more joy and understanding in our day-to-day conversations. As B.F. Skinner asserts: "A student learns three to four times faster in the presence of joy." More so, how can anyone--teachers and non-teachers alike--be expected to grow while in the cold shadow of criticism? This is why I prefer constructive feedback rather than criticism. Give me suggestions for improvement and plenty of positive reinforcement and I will go far. #2 the importance of expressing interest in other people"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." ~ Dale Carnegie Had I internalized this wise piece of information years ago, I would have enjoyed college a lot more. Instead, in college, I tried to make others respect me by participating constantly during class. Needless to say, my attempts at winning my classmates' favor flopped. I should have spent less time showcasing my expertise and more time learning from my classmates. Moving forward, I plan on speaking less and listening more to others. Likewise, aspiring and current teachers should engage with students on a personal level, listening to their needs while taking their students seriously. According to the fourth teaching commandant, which I showed in a previous blog post: "The best way to enter the minds of students is to first enter their hearts. When you touch them personally, they will grow academically." #3 The showmanship of truth"This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn't enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship." ~ Dale Carnegie I hope to live in a world where truth can speak for itself. Until then, Carnegie's observation on truth is more relevant than ever.
As I am writing this, political pundits are claiming that evolution is a conspiracy against religion and that climate change is a lie invented by the Left to undermine capitalism. Truth cannot, therefore, stand on its own, because the truth can be bent or discarded altogether. And because we humans demand "vivid, interesting, dramatic" information, truth itself must reflect that demand lest we become bored and complacent. In other words, if the truth does not capture our attention and encourage us to retain new information, then we are less willing to listen to reason and, by and by, grow out of our stubborn ignorance. Demonstrating showmanship when sharing the truth can benefit everyone. I remember several former teachers of mine who used to make learning fun. Through showmanship they proved that even though learning can be stressful, relying on some theatrical techniques--such as using a loud voice and sharing thought-provoking stories relevant to the classwork--can help students retain the truth (or lessons) easier. Ultimately, according to the tenth teaching commandant, which can be found in a previous blog post, teachers should honor themselves. The commandant declares: "Live up to your expectations, do what you feel in your heart is right, listen to your needs, praise your efforts, forgive your mistakes, embrace your humanness, and encourage yourself to grow. While you are not a god, you are a beautiful human being. See the magic and worth that exists in you, and you, by your example, will teach your students that they, too, have magic--the most valuable lesson of all!"
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